At Electricity Human Resources Canada, we conduct national research in all areas of the electricity sector to make sure that employers, educators, workers and policy makers are prepared for the future. According to our research, the future is definite and coming soon: we anticipate that within five years, the majority of Canada’s electricity will be generated by hamsters spinning in wheels. We urge employers to start planning for this shift now, and we’ve prepared some advice to begin evolving your workforce.
Will I need re-training and upskilling to manage my hamster workforce?
Yes, but not much. Hamsters are generally eager to spin in wheels and require little training. Our research has shown that human-hamster workforces cooperate well together. It will be important to develop a robust workplace fraternization policy, or you may quickly find yourself with more hamsters than wheels.
What about facilities?
Most existing facilities can be easily retrofit by adding plastic tubes and tunnels for hamster travel. You should ensure that your sites can easily accommodate wood shavings on the floor. In addition to your water fountains, consider adding inverted bottles with a spout and ball bearing stopper. In terms of legacy facilities, we’re working with Waterpower Canada to petition the federal government for funding to convert all hydropower generation facilities to waterslides.
What about the human workforce?
While hamsters spinning in wheels may replace some human positions, the overall workforce should not shift drastically. We’re developing a robust upskilling plan to retrain workers as hamster tenders: hamsters require regular maintenance, feeding, and cleaning. We’ve seen that humans caring for hamsters report increased productivity and job satisfaction.
What is the future of hamster electricity?
QUEST’s most recent thought paper suggests that many smart communities may soon see individual homes with their own hamsters and spinning wheels. Scientists in Denmark are currently investigating the potential of shifting hamsters from wheels into balls, and although much work is to be done, the “three-dimension wheel” suggests increased power output.
The future is bright, furry, and eager to spin in power-generating wheels. If you have any questions about this important work, please note the publication date of April 1.